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March 05 2009 - If you wish to submit your own slice of erotica (which has, no doubt, been 65 million wanks in the making) - please e-mail ijpeffwa@friendsofsmash.co.ukor click here.Wo
Jan
8th, 2009 - Happy belated Halloween, Thanksgiving,
Christmas, Chanuka, Ramadan, New Year's, Easter, Midsummer's Day,
Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanuka, Ramadan and New
Year's everybody! Sorry about the lack of news updates this past
year and a half - once again those judgemental elements of society
who refuse to accept that ours is the truest and purest form of
love have conspired to keep our organisation from thriving.
Despite that however, it has been a mixed year for us all.
The
good news is that we have now reached 225 members at the time of
writing - a phenomenal achievement made even more impressive by
the loss of those who didn't make it past Jeff Goldblum's home
security system on our last group picnic. They will be sorely
missed, and 2009 will be a year dedicated to our fallen comrades,
as well as a celebration of those who have recently joined the
fold! We look forward to seeing the fruits of your wonderful
imaginations blossom forth on this dinosaur-shaped tree of dodgy
erotica we call IJPEFFWA.
Further good news has arrived in
the form of Sam Neill's veiled not-quite-but-almost admission of
an on-set romance between himself and the larger velociraptor in
Jurassic park. Taken from an FAQ on one of Mr. Neill's (sadly no
longer updated) fansites athttp://www.ibiblio.org/samneill/snfaq.html:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
On
the Today show with Katie Couric, Neill denied rumors (begun by
Laura Dern) of involvement with the bigger velociraptor in
Jurassic Park : "I deny this. It's a bare-faced lie. There
was a purely professional relationship. We may have held claws
once in a while, but that's
it."
------------------------------------------------------------------
No
need to be coy, Mr. Neill! Your public endorsement would only
garner acceptance for us all.
On a much sadder note, 2008
saw the passing of Michael Crichton, the visionary who put pen to
paper and composed the epic sex bible we've come to know and love
a bit more than many would accept as Jurassic Park. He was a truly
gifted writer of books about theme parks gone horribly wrong, and
he will be sorely missed. Rest in Peace, Michael Crichton. Rest in
peace.
Finally, an announcement will be made in the next
few days for an erotic dinosaur poetry competition! Watch this
space!
Again, happy new year everyone!
Jul.
23rd, 2007 - Ahoy there, fellow lovers of supple scaly
skin! Today is an exciting day for IJPEFFWA, as we have now more
than doubled in numbers since our last update! Welcome to all our
new members, and thank you for choosing IJPEFFWA for all your
dinorotica needs. Thanks to your continued support we now have
over ten more members than our nearest rival, the International
Westworld Erotic Fan Fiction Writers Association (IWWEFFWA)! This
just goes to show that *our* favourite Michael Crichton story
about a theme park gone horribly wrong is much sexier than *their*
favourite Michael Crichton story about a theme park gone horribly
wrong! Go Team!
May 12th, 2007 - Our recent
group outing to Sam Neill's house was a resounding success! Well
done to all our members who managed to get away when the police
turned up, and to everyone else - we look forward to reading the
many erotic dinosaur stories you will now have all the time in the
world to write! Congratulations everyone!
Apr. 27th,
2007 - Group outing time is once again nearly upon us!
Thank you to everyone who has suggested a potential location - it
has now been decided almost unanimously that this year's
destination will be Sam Neill's private residence. Don't forget to
bring your cameras, pens and notepads, people! As with last year's
trip to Chessington World of Adventures, balaclavas will also be
optional.
Feb. 14th, 2007 - Greetings fellow
tyrannophiles! It would seem that once again Valentine's Day has
come upon us. To mark this special occasion we are giving away ten
free copies of the official IJPEFFWA's award winning compilation
book "Fangs and Wangs" to the first members who send us
an amusing hand drawn picture of what they and their loved one
would look like if they were two brachiosaurs being fisted by Jeff
Goldblum. Don't forget to include those SAE's, people!
Jan.
1st, 2007 - Happy New Year IJPEFFWA members! Thank you to
everyone who managed to send their submissions to our special
"Write an erotic dinosaur story about the Nativity"
christmas competition before the deadline! The winners will be
announced in our weekly email newsletter next Friday, so keep an
eye on those letterboxes peopl those Ann Summers
Ankylosaur-tail dildos could be on their way to you as we
speak...!! |
