BY
MICHAEL COLLINS
Robert Muldoon was not a man to be
trifled with. For years he had plied his trade as a big game hunter
in Kenya, utilizing every scrap of his savage cunning and imposing
physical frame - as well as his arsenal of highly explosive weaponry
- to outsmart, outmanoeuvre and outexplode some of the mightiest and
most dangerous creatures known to nature. He was normally as patient
as a stone and would spend hours, even days at a time rooted to the
spot, silently waiting for his quarry to show up so that he could
decorate his lion skull cabin with more lion skulls. Nonetheless,
today his patience was wearing thin. "It's this bloody island",
he thought to himself. Ever since he'd accepted the job at InGen
working at their new tourist attraction, he'd been effectively
confined to the role of construction overseer - an occupation wholly
at odds with his hands-on-heads-off personality - and he couldn't
deny he was beginning to feel restless.
Just as he was
contemplating a change of career, his self reflection was cut off by
a loud, metallic "CLANG!" as the final pylon was hauled
into place atop the heavy-duty maximum security enclosure being
erected behind him, reminding him that it had been a long, long time
since he'd been involved in erections of a more personal nature.
Absently, he adjusted his crotch as he picked up his radio and
signalled to the foreman that the enclosure was ready for it's
occupants. Hoisting himself up onto a platform above the solid metal
gate, he looked out over the large, tropical forest surrounding him
and began to wait for the transport cage to arrive. The forest itself
was of the lush green palm variety normally associated with small
islands located off the coast of Costa Rica, and was superbly lit by
a completely dark night sky - almost as if some celestial lighting
assistant had had a hand in it somehow.
"Hola, Senor
Muldoon!" one of the workers called up to him as they passed by.
Muldoon peered at him, trying to make out who it was. "Oh yes,"
he thought as recognition set in, "that'll be young Joffrey".
Joffrey was one of the few men on the island who never really got
credited for anything, one of those men that InGen CEO John Hammond
constantly referred to as "Our delightfully expendable
workforce". Muldoon nodded curtly to young Joffrey, making sure
to maintain eye contact for slightly longer than was socially
acceptable. Joffrey smiled back coquettishly and gave him an almost
effeminate wink. Wiping his mouth slightly, Muldoon once more
adjusted himself and went back to surveying the surrounding area,
trying very VERY hard not to think about how long it had been since
he'd given his rifle a good cocking.
After what seemed like an
eternity atop the platform but was really only a couple of seconds
give or take a second or two, a mighty roar sounded out across the
acres of thickly carpeted wilderness. One by one in the distance,
trees began to crash to the floor as if some massive reptilian
behemoth were charging towards them. "About bloody time!"
Muldoon thought to himself as the bulldozer finally emerged from the
overgrowth, pushing a large steel box before it. Quickly, he motioned
to the other workers to help him get the enclosure door open as the
bulldozer pulled up to the side and lowered the crate with a loud
THUMP. "Alright now," he shouted, "pushers move in!
Loading team move it! Come on, come on!"
The movement of
the crate however, had clearly angered its occupant. A mighty shriek
and a series of loud, high pitched roars emanated from the slats on
either side of the crate as a large yellowish and distinctly
non-human eye peered out menacingly. The creature snapped and growled
and began to hurl itself against the side of the cage, startling the
workers who retreated back a few steps. Now THIS, Muldoon reflected,
THIS was more like it! Angry, dangerous animals wanting nothing more
than to tear him apart - THIS was the kind of job he could get his
teeth into! Whether it was due to the previous six months or so of
utter boredom, or whether it was some other dark impulse Muldoon
never knew, but almost without thinking he covertly loosened the
bolts on the door to the cage, taking great care to ensure no one saw
him do so.
"Alright, steady..." he said to the other
workers, "Get back in there now, PUSH! Get back in there! Don't
let her know you're afraid..."
Gingerly, the other
workers approached the cage and with great effort managed to push it
up against
the open slot on the side of the enclosure. As it
thudded against the side, a green light flicked on indicating that
contact had been made. Oh, how Muldoon longed for contact! He smiled
to himself. As long as the bolts on that cage door were secure, no
amount of throwing itself against the side would allow the animal to
escape! Quickly, he checked to make sure they were sufficently loose.
"Well locked!" He cried, "Loading team, step away.
Joffrey - raise the gate!"
Quickly, Joffrey clambered on
top of the cage and began to do as he was told. He knew all too well
what manner of creature they were dealing with, and he didn't want to
waste any time getting it securely behind those twelve-foot thick
concrete walls lined with high voltage electric fences. As he leaned
forward to grab the gate release, however, the creature made it's
move! With a loud shriek it threw itself against the panel next to
the bolts Muldoon had loosened, ripping the door from it's hinges and
knocking the cage back, sending Joffrey crashing onto the unforgiving
jungle floor below and jarring every bone in his body! Howling in
triumph, the creature shot out a brown, scaly limb and sunk a
vicious, sabre-like claw into the workman's fleshy ankle, tearing
through the muscle and bone and locking itself firmly in place.
Joffrey screamed at the top of his lungs as he was dragged forcefully
back inside the cage, powerless to resist the creature's superior
strength.
Muldoon suppressed an excited grin as he immediately
began to shout instructions to the panic-stricken construction crew.
"Tasers, get in there goddamnit! You there - " he motioned
to one dumbstruck engineer, "Bring me four tranq rifles, a vial
of nerve toxins and a camera goddamnit! And make sure it's a bloody
video camera this time!"
Joffrey howled in terror as his
efforts to stay put failed. Unable to break the creature's hold he
cracked his head brutally against the side of the cage and lost all
ability to resist as his senses became groggy. A rank odour of
decaying meat and faeces lined the air of the cage and it was all he
could do to suppress his gag reflex the way his gym teacher had
taught him. As his head cleared slightly he was able to make out the
dreadful beast which had just snared him. Standing almost eight feet
high, with mottled brown and green skin and rows of curved, serrated
teeth was Velociraptor Antirrhopus: a killing machine of almost
unsurpassed intelligence, lethality and sexual appetite. It's long
forearms ended in five muscular digits, each sporting an
intimidating-looking claw. It leered at him wickedly, and Joffrey
knew his end was nigh.
Strangely enough though, he didn't
really mind! While Joffrey would have preferred not to die, this
prehistoric jack the ripper was somehow the most beautiful creature
he had ever seen - from her lustrous amber eyes to her graceful,
prehensile tail - all the way to her muscular thighs and smooth,
curvy footclaws. It would be an honour to be ravaged by such
a....a...goddess! Blissfully and with complete disregard for his
mutilated ankle and gashed open head, he reached out and smiled at
the creature as she reared up and opened her jaws...
By now
the activity outside the cage had reached 'pandemonium' status.
Frightened workers ran around like headless compys trying to find a
way to secure the cage and free their colleague. In a state of calm
bliss, Muldoon strode over to the radio and casually informed the
Jurassic Park control centre that they were ready for the other
raptors now and also while they were at it perhaps a few crates of
strong alcohol and some women's clothing. Almost trembling with
anticipation but remaining outwardly stoic nonetheless, he loosened
his belt and struck a match to light his pre-coital cigarette with.
Six damn months! Well NOW he was going to get some release! Grabbing
the side of the broken cage, he hauled himself up and peeked through
a gap in the roof to see how things were progressing.
The
velociraptor had parted her jaws and looked about to strike, but
suddenly she seemed to stop as if unsure of herself. Joffrey was
confused - why hadn't this hot cretaceous babe mauled him like the
filthy descendant of a wretched shrew-like thing that he was? Why was
he not being lovingly absorbed by the digestive system of this
perfect, carrion-scented aphrodite?
Almost as if he dared not
speculate, he glanced up at her, still expecting the final strike
that would end his sexually confused mammalian existance - and saw at
once that it would not come. Her eyes were still marked by a
ferocious hunger, but it was not for shredded meat she seemed to
slaver - she clearly wanted the meat intact! Joffrey couldn't believe
his luck! Slowly, she backed away from him, then coyly turned around
so her bird-like hips were on full display mere inches from his face.
From this angle, he could see her smooth, hairless slit. As he began
to drool, she started to shake her hips from side to side
seductively, delicately spraying him with gallons upon gallons of
dinosaur sex pheromones she had in some gland that all velociraptors
had but that didn't get fossilised with the rest of them because it
was too soft somehow. Cautiously at first, lest he somehow alarm her
or turn her off, Joffrey began to lightly rub the area around her
velocigina with his chin, nuzzling the rough, pebble-like folds of
skin surrounding it with his tongue. The creature howled with a
terrifying, primordial delight and thrust herself back against
Joffrey's mouth, knocking out his front teeth and ramming his lower
jaw deep inside her. "GRKHLONNGGGGHKGFLFGLGLUMMMPH!!!!"
Joffrey whispered seductively as he continued to work his magic on
her with his mouth parts, delicately teasing her harsh,
sandpaper-like clitoris as he did so.
From his vantage
point on top of the cage, Muldoon could see that things were
progressing far better than he ever could have hoped for! "YOU
THERE!" he shouted at the engineer again, who had returned with
the equipment
he had been asked to retrieve. "Get up here and
set that video camera up! The rest of you, find some bloody
tasers!"
The velociraptor continued to bellow and
howl and echo her savage predatorial joy across the construction site
as Joffrey brought her halfway to climax. With one exaggerated
movement, she threw her hips violently to one side, dislodging
Joffrey's lower jaw from her deep hot minge and hammering him against
the side of the cage. Winded, he collapsed to the floor, his face a
brutal looking mess of blood, bone, flesh, dinosaur sex pheromones
and primeval vaginal juices. The velociraptor was a merciless
predator, but she was not a selfish lover! It was time to
reciprocate. As Joffrey lay battered on the cage floor barely able to
move, she approached him and lightly rested her perfectly-shaped foot
on his crotch. Even through his dislocated muscle, she could feel the
bulge! She grinned, as all velociraptors are pretty much forced to do
because of their bone structure, and with one deft flick of her
curved toe claw she tore through the lining of his pants and exposed
his engorged, throbbing, member. Joffrey mumbled with ecstasy through
his maimed features as the creature appraised him. She was mildly
disappointed at the lack of insemination barbs on his manhood, but
she had come too far now - invested too much time - to stop the
process this close to completion. Wrapping her tail around his waist,
she pulled him to his feet and slammed herself back against his erect
cock, moaning wickedly as it pushed apart the sides of her opening
and entered her. Little bubbles of pleasure formed in the red-black
foam on Joffrey's mouth as she forced herself further back, taking
him deep inside her.
On top of the cage, the camera was nearly
ready. Muldoon could take no more! Whipping off his safari shorts and
pulling out his very own 'big game', he wrapped his hands around it
and began to rythmically jerk off as the confused and terrified
engineer pointed the camera where he was told to!
"Ohhhhhh
that's right, get it all on tape, allllllll on tape", he groaned
as he energetically pumped his purple shotgun.
The
velociraptor was grinding and bucking back against Joffrey with
terrifying savagery now, and she could feel the warmth beginning to
build up in her nether regions as his rod-hard dick slammed in and
out of her orifice. Fervently, she rocked against the side of the
cage, ignoring Joffrey's impassioned gurgling noises as she brought
herself closer and closer to a meteoric climax.
"Keep
shootinggggg", Muldoon moaned as he prepared to do some shooting
of his own. "SHOOT HER! SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT
HEEEEERRR!!!!"
Finally the raptor could take it no more!
Squealing as if she intended to drown out all other sounds that had
ever been made by anything in the history of ever she came hard and
fast, her vaginal walls constricting around Joffrey like a vice as
wave after wave of putrid velociraptor love tabasco squirted
everywhere, dousing the floor and walls of the cage in a layer of
horribleness half an inch thick. Joffrey screamed in agony as his
frail warm-blooded member was crushed by this merciless barrage, and
tried desperately to pull out of her, but it was too late. In a final
act of climax she spun around again, taking him with her and cracking
his spine in two. Acting on pure instinct, she sank her powerful jaws
into the sides of his skull and bit down hard, ripping his head clean
in half and scattering flesh and blood everywhere. As her teeth
entered his brain, they triggered his pleasure and pain senses,
sending him at once into the most disturbingly intense agony a human
being can possibly experience and bringing him to such heights of
ecstasy as humankind can only dream of. Then he died.
Then, as
she wolfed down what had once been the greater part of a young man's
head, her body was racked by more uncontrollable spasms! She writhed
and flopped over the cage, all movement out of her control as the by
now rallied workers fired taser shot after taser shot through the
cage door, each one making contact with her and sending powerful
electric shocks through her body. A sound not dissimilar to that of a
former Kenyan gamekeeper ejaculating emanated from the cage roof
above, and as she spasmed on the floor she could feel a sticky, warm
liquid trickle onto her from
above.
"OhhhhhhYEStheyshouldallbedestroyed!!"
Muldoon groaned to himself as he shot his load through the hole in
the cage roof and sank happily to his knees.
As the workers
continued to shock the velociraptor into submission a low rumbling
noise was heard. "Oh, jolly good!" Muldoon thought to
himself. "Sounds like the others are on their way"!
Excitedly, he pulled his shorts back up and rallied the remaining
workforce. "Come on you lot", he declared, "one
down... seven more to go".
From that day forward, working
for InGen didn't seem nearly so bad...