ALEX COX

"This is a UNIX system! I KNOW THIS." proclaimed Lex Murphy, staring at the 3D operating system flying before her on screen.

"No it bloody isn't," screamed Jeff Goldblum, slapping her in her smug little face. "It's clearly IRIX! Which, while a UNIX derivative, isn't actually UNIX." Lex Murphy whimpered a little so Goldblum punched her out of the chair with a sneer. He put the boots into the now unconscious child and removed a few of her worthless little teeth. "Fucking children," he sighed.

Peering into the whizzy 3D murk, Goldblum stopped. His Jewish eyes couldn't believe it. Was that... no... He grabbed for the mouse and clicked around, soon discovering that yes, indeed, it was a picture of a dinosaur penetrating a giraffe while a lion watched.

"Wow." said Jeff, before masturbating his gigantic circumcised member until he, er, exploded with, um, dinosaurial velocity. Or something.