HUNTLEY WOODS

Muldoon couldn't believe his luck, there he was in the jungle staring down the barrel of his gun ready to fire one off in the raptor's eye when a second emerged from the bushes on the left. She opened her jaw and dashed toward his face, but she wasn't about to eat his skull. Oh no, her mouth was wide open for another reason...for a french kiss. Muldoon was caught in the middle of a wild raptor threesome. With the new girl's tongue tickling down his throat and his rifle fully locked and loaded, he fired off a huge shot, some of it landing on the other raptor and most of it landing on that creepy snake on the branch slithering by her eye.

He then left to go back to the Visitor's Center but ran into a nice surprise on the way. It was a juvenile T-Rex...only it wasn't. Like many of the other dinosaurs in the park, this one had spontaneously changed sex from male to female, a real life Trannysaurus Rex. She had on some hot red lipstick, 4 inch heels, and big gold hoop earings. This time instead of hearing a "ROOAAARRRRR" Muldoon heard her go " Reeoooarrww!" He could tell that she was into him, so he took her by her tiny forelimb and led her off behind the maintenance shed at the other end of the compound for a quickie.